Though I keep the more personal details of my life quiet on this blog (then again, there’s always the MRSA incident which is frankly, ridiculously embarrassing but people actually come to the site because of that post!) I will now reveal some of my experiences to you all in hopes that my tales will help Waiguoren women make sense of the strange dating pool they will find when living in Taiwan.
First off, while in Taiwan I lived like a monk and avoided relationship drama at all cost. Most of the time. There were however, a few moments (or months) of curiosity where I gave in and attempted to go out and have fun with a member of the opposite sex. I suppose I even “dated” a few of them though it never turned into anything serious and I preferred just having friends. I wanted to be alone and brood and if you are a broody, pondering type of woman then you’ll find Taiwan the perfect place for this activity. More often than not you will be left alone (note: you WILL get stared at all the time). You see, Taiwan is a foreign man’s playground and from what I witnessed it’s much, much easier for foreign men in the world of Taiwanese dating than it is for foreign women. There are numerous reasons for this…some of them being:
1. Due to the language barrier and other similar issues, Taiwanese men are less confident about approaching foreign women.
2. Foreign women are generally loud and easy (This is what I heard, not necessarily what I think;) and while such labels may work in the club they’re not going to secure any kind of serious relationship in Taiwanese culture.
3. A lot of TW men are not very attracted to foreign women as we tend to be larger in size.
If you do find a guy to date in Taiwan, you’ll probably discover that you both won’t really take the relationship seriously since at some point you’ll probably have to say goodbye (I do know a few that have worked, so this isn’t always the case). I also believe a lot of Taiwanese guys view foreign women as trophies.
Some foreign women are interested in dating foreign men while living on the island. I strongly suggest avoiding this at all costs. While I have a few good male foreign friends living in Taiwan, I can say with complete confidence that many foreign men living on the island believe they are God’s gift to Taiwanese women and will frequently take advantage of local girls. I’ve had local men and women express their anger at this fact.
A lot of foreign men tend to believe they can win foreign women over just as easily; or they won’t even try because they know they don’t stand a chance as we are wise to their antics.
My dating experiences:
Mr. Moneybags
We went out on two dates. His brother called me old and told me I had wrinkles under my eyes and suggested getting good eye cream so I could look as young as the Taiwanese girls. Mr. Moneybags tried to play too many games, I deleted him from my phone book.
Mr. ABC
Well not really an ABC (American born Chinese) since he was born in Taiwan. But he moved to the states in his early teen years, adopted a completely American lifestyle, and temporarily moved back to Taiwan in his mid-twenties to complete his military duty. We actually had fun and dated a few months but we both knew it wouldn’t last and obviously he was more into TW girls because ironically I ran into him and his girlfriend while riding the same train to a beach in northern Taiwan one Saturday. Very awkward moment for him.
Mr. Local Who Studied Abroad
The guy I dated for the longest amount of time–we had the most fun together and considered taking things to the next level (aka, boyfriend, girlfriend) but I didn’t want a relationship and he was too consumed with his work for anything serious anyway. In my experience local Taiwanese men who’ve studied abroad are less likely to feel intimated approaching foreign women and befriending them.
Mr. Foreigner
I won’t get into this one too much other than to say we ended up as friends but the brief stint was somewhat crazy and not very fun on either end.
BEWARE:
When I first moved to Taiwan I became friends with a guy who owned a shaved ice stand. Nothing romantic ever happened with us other than a hug and an innocent visit to a hot spring one night. And a couple of dinners. However, almost one year after we stopped talking I got a call from his deranged wife (who I knew nothing about, I thought he was single) shouting at me in English and Chinese, telling me he had a wife and kids and I was wrecking their marriage. She found an old e-mail from the previous year (completely harmless) and thought we were having an affair.
Overall, I found Taiwan to be the perfect place to learn more about myself, single. Those months of solitude helped me in ways I couldn’t have imagined and if you’re looking for solace and a chance to discover who you really are, then you’ll be delighted with Taiwan. However, if you’re looking for a romantic rendezvous, better go to Italy.
WOw very informative post!! thanks for opening up! ive always been curious about this in TW
Interesting post.
I agree – there are almost too many sites about foreign men in Taiwan and hardly any about foreign women.
I haven’t been to Taiwan yet – my first time going there will be in Sept 2012.
I met lots of Taiwanese friends on a language-exchange site (incl. my boyfriend) — I’m excited/interested/nervous to see what it will be like to actually get to be in Taiwan (I’m going to South Taiwan, Kaohsiung area).
Britany-Good luck in Taiwan. I’m sure you’ll love it! Taiwanese people are generally very friendly and the country is beautiful. Takes time to get used to some things but I found my culture shock was much worse coming back to the U.S. than living in Taiwan.:) Be sure to visit the east and central parts of the country as well.
and what do u thing of the forieners in america
For the most part, I have no problem with the foreigners in America. (If you really think about it, all Americans are pretty much foreigners!) Anyway, the “foreigners” make it more interesting here and are generally cool people.:) I do think people were much nicer to me as a foreigner in Taiwan than some people treat foreigners here, unfortunately.
OMG Rhonda, SO TRUE! I feel like we had the same dating history/fiasco in Taiwan. I’d like to be shocked that Mr. Moneybag’s brother said the eye cream thing to you, but someone actually said the exact same thing to a friend who was visiting me. That kind of bluntness is something I just wasn’t used to!
Also, I felt like a giant there, so yeah, I guess I was “big”.
Yeah it was surprising…especially since I feel that in TW culture it’s all about saving face and not wanting to embarrass oneself. I wqs not expecting to hear that.
Lol, I had friends who also experienced feeling like a giant. I’m sure you had many interesting moments in the country.