This article, Don’t date a girl who travels, kinda irked me when I read it. I know, I know, I’ve gotten worked up about travel articles before. But I think this one is wrong on a number of levels, so I thought I’d share a few thoughts.
Before you read further, you might want to read the article above so you know exactly what I’m talking about. I’m sure the author meant well and intended to praise the admirable qualities of independent women travelers, but the article came off as a little judgmental to me.
First, the writer implies that women who love to travel will never want to have a semi-normal life (or at least, what society deems is normal), and settle down. I’m living proof that someone can love to travel and still fall in love, get married, and live a somewhat more traditional lifestyle. And note: traditional does not have to mean dull.
The author says women who travel are hard to please, and doing something as mundane as going on a movie/dinner date will suck the life out such women because they crave “new experiences and adventures.” However, I believe that a truly adventurous person will find thrilling experiences practically anywhere – whether it be in a foreign country or doing something as simple as going shopping at one’s local grocery store (I have had my share of excitement having Steve push me around in shopping carts).
A woman who enjoys traveling probably enjoys spontaneity, which I think would be an attractive quality to most men. A woman who enjoys traveling probably likes a wide variety of food and also may enjoy cooking unique and exotic dishes – again, probably an attractive quality for most men.
I do agree with the author’s statement that women who love adventure and traveling probably don’t care as much about material possessions. I would much rather be given a vacation than get a gift like a Gucci handbag, which I could care less about. Another reason to date a traveler!
I do agree with the author’s assertion that women who travel indefinitely often do so because they can’t imagine being robots stuck in careers that drain their lives away. I love writing and photography because these things inspire me, and I can’t imagine going back to a job that I hate – and I’ve worked plenty of those.
*Side note: actually, I think it’s important that a person has his or her share of jobs that he or she does not find thrilling. It’s good life experience and teaches one how to deal with people.
However, the author, especially when she says “Don’t waste [a traveler's time] complaining about your boring job,” seems to be making a judgment that people who are not employed in creative fields must have horrible, stifling careers. I honestly don’t think this is true and there are many people out there who enjoy what they do for a living.
The author says women who like to travel will challenge others to explore the world, and I also agree with this. People who like to travel and those who make a career out of being nomadic often challenge others to do the same, BUT, sometimes I think they do so with more of an “I’m right, you’re wrong” mentality. I encourage people to get out there and explore the world because I think it opens one’s perspectives and gives a deeper sense of the ties that bind humanity. I think it’s really important to end racial and cultural misunderstandings. But because I have done a little traveling, this doesn’t make me or anyone else who has traveled abroad better than others. Nor does it give us travelers the right to treat others as if they are ignorant and act as if we’ve discovered some great secret of the universe. With that being said, I do hope I inspire my husband to want to see more of the world.
Mostly, I had a problem with what the author wrote here:
“Don’t date a girl who travels as she tends to speak her mind….. She will never need you – she knows how to pitch a tent and screw her own fins without your help. She cooks well and doesn’t need you to pay for her meals. She is too independent and wont care whether you travel with her or not. She will forget to check in with you when she arrives at her destination. She’s busy living in the present. She talks to strangers. She will meet many interesting, like-minded people from around the world who share her passion and dreams. She will be bored with you.”
First of all, I think many men are attracted to women who speak their minds. If my husband couldn’t tolerate me speaking my mind, we certainly wouldn’t be married right now!
Sure, many travelers are self-sufficient and know all kinds of cool survival skills, but I also think many people who are constantly traveling DO get needy on the road, and very lonely. I honestly was/am fine going around solo but many travelers I met did seem to need other people, hence the reason it seems so many expats tend to group together in foreign countries. Even though I have no problem traveling alone, I do like the fact that my husband enjoys going on adventures too. It does sometimes make traveling more fun.
I absolutely do not agree that if a man who isn’t a traveler wants to date a woman who is a traveler, he will have nothing to offer her because she will see him as boring. People are interesting in their own ways and interesting people can be found everywhere, not just abroad.
The article ended with this quote:
“And if you unintentionally fall in love with [a girl who likes to travel], don’t you dare keep her. Let her go.”
I’m so glad my husband didn’t get scared off by my wanderlust. I’m glad he sees how much it means to me.
One of the greatest and most unexpected joys and adventures of my life has been meeting Steve and getting married. I am blessed. I truly never thought I would get married because I didn’t think I would find the one who was meant for me. I thought tying the knot and settling down meant I wouldn’t be free and I’d feel like I was suffocating. But guess what? I found my best friend. I found someone who makes me a better person and brings out my best qualities, who helps keep me grounded (in a good way), and who helps me see the fun in winter (I hate the cold!) — just to name a few of his amazing traits. I also like to think he appreciates my passions and how travel has helped shaped me into who I am now.
I may not be wandering the globe at the moment but I take comfort in the fact that I’ve found someone to wander through life with. Travel will always be there. True love may not.
So I say, definitely do date a traveler. See how much you can open up your world, together. Who knows? You might be on the verge of one of the greatest journeys yet.